Dear iPod...

Dear iPod:

For Christmas, my wife (yes, my WIFE) brought you into my life, a shiny, black, 60GB iPod. My name is inscribed right on your back. At first, things were nice with my 308 songs. Then, by hook and by crook, I managed to arm you with 10038 songs. Things were grand as we rode the New Jersey Coastline with me humming along. In fact, once, I unconsciously sang out loud on the train. However, over the past couple of weeks, I am beginng to fear you think I am a gay man (of course, not that there's anything wrong with that).

I recognize that there are several up-tempo dance songs on my playlist, along with a few Madonna, Hall and Oates and R.E.M. tracks. However, I am curious why, whenever I choose the shuffle mode, you select these type songs, and these songs only, to play. While a Madonna song might inspire memories from my youth, I don't need four (yes, FOUR) consecutive songs by her. And yes, while the Pet Shop Boys are fun in their own little way, they are on the list because my WIFE (yes, I am happilly married in a heterosexual relationship) owns one of their CDs. Accordingly, I don't really want to hear "West End Girls" every morning. At first, I thought it was just a coincidence. However, as of late, I have been wondering if perhaps you think I spend my entire day singing and dancing around my house like Hank Azaria in The Birdcage or like Ellen on that annoying American Express commercial.

To be honest, I really don't dance and sing that much, unless it is with my daughter (and that is only to Old School Rap songs, Waltzes or anything on Noggin), and sometimes just like to listen to a lugubrious song by Nirvana. Anyway, if there is any chance you could include a little Alice in Chains, Hank Williams Sr., Art Brut, Soundgarden, N.W.A. (with Ice Cube though) or even some good ol' Black Sabbath next time you choose the mix, I would be very appreciative.

Very truly yours,

-Your Loyal Listener