New Feature - Manliest Movies of all Time

If you ever picked up a stick as a child and swung it around like a sword, you tried to execute the "behind the back move" Conan does. It is an immutable law. Why? Because this movie is as close to the heart of any man (or man-child) as any movie can get.

I am not going to rehash the plot (and, contrary to what detractors may claim, there IS one, and it is GOOD), because you should know it. I would only ask that you juxtapose Nietzsche's bit about the camel and the lion to the plot and see what you come up with.

Anyway, this movie not only has the most bad-ass, ball thumping music ever written by mankind, but our protagonist is so manly that someone else actually cries for him.

If you are like me, you have seen it about four-hundred times. Watch it again, you know you want to. Your testosterone levels will thank you for it.

Manly quote:
Mongol General: "Conan, what is best in life?"
Conan: "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!"

In all likelihood, my kids are cooler than yours.

Moreover, at some point, they will probably kick your kids' asses.

Exhibit "A" - The boy (age 2) is riding in the car and Ride of the Valkyrie comes on. He begins singing "BUM-BUM-BUM BOM!" while flailing fists in the air. When the song is over his little voice says "AGAIN!" When the song is played again, he snarls his lip like Elvis.

Exhibit "B" - The boy and I are watching a Kung-fu movie. He is in my lap. Without provocation, a foot lands squarely in my face, followed by a roundhouse punch that knocks my glasses off. The boy smiles.

Exhibit "C" - The girl (age 3) loves Avatar. She can correctly imitate the Hung Ga Earthbending moves perfectly. On a lark, I instruct her on how to assume a balanced stance, have us touch forearms, tell her to close her eyes and tell her to prevent me from touching her with my hand. I do a simple wrist turning trick, thinking she will not know what to do. She not only reverses the wrist lock, but, pulls me forward and connects with a haymaker to the ear. I quote "Fight Club" at her ("You punched me in the ear!") and we had a laugh about it.

A storm is coming, and your kids better not be in the way.