Eye of the Beholder

I am on the 6:18 train home and my iPod starts the third act of Die Walkure.

I am not going to explain the whole ring cycle here... suffice to say in the second act, Brünnhilde, the beloved daughter of Wotan, has disobeyed Wotan by vowing to protect Siegmund from harm because she believed it was what her father would have wanted her to do despite his command to let him die. Wotan arrives, sees what has happened, breaks Siegmund's sword and causes his death. Brünnhilde runs away and Wotan takes off after her.

Begin Act III - after The Ride of the Valkyrie, Wotan finds Brünnhilde and passes judgement on her: Brünnhilde pleads that in disobeying his orders she was really doing what he wished. Wotan will not rescind his command: she must lie in sleep, a prize for any man who finds her. But as Wotan's anger abates, Brünnhilde asks the favor of being surrounded in sleep by a wall of fire that only the bravest hero can pierce.

It was here that something happened. Whenever I have heard this work in the past, my heart always went out to Brünnhilde. Don't get me wrong, I could intellectually grasp why Wotan had to do what he did, but, my heart was with Brünnhilde. You know, the "establishment" doing the wrong thing in the face of noble intent. However, this time, my heart was with Wotan. I knew he did what he did because he is Wotan, the chief god. His word could not be disobeyed, no matter what the intent. However, the emotion in the words, for the first time, resonated inside me on a personal level.

My heart further softened as the music went on and the baritone voice of Wotan was singing:

"that radiant pair of eyes that I often kissed when you earned a reward and sang in childlike praise of heroes... those gleaming eyes that shone in the storm when I longed for the joys of the world amid danger and dread. One last time I kiss these eyes farewell...

my heart quivered a bit as Wotan, sadly renouncing his daughter, kisses Brünnhilde's eyes with sleep and mortality...

"On a happier man may they shine one day. For this sorrowing god, they must finally close.

There... right there... the image of my little girl flashed in my mind... and she was wearing a wedding dress...

"Now the god takes his leave and kisses your godhead away."

...and I just lifted her veil and kissed her on the head.

guhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Someone must have popped a benzyl bromide canister on my train because, well, my eyes were getting a little wet. Now, this might not seem like a big deal to some folk, but, this is unprecedented for me. I am not going to tout my "man resume", but, it is pretty solid. A week ago, I would have been more likely to believe a person who said "in seven days, the CIA will reveal that we have been at war with aliens from a different planet for the last 300 years" than a person who said "in seven days, an opera will move you to tears on a public train."

Notwithstanding this fact, there I was, doing the best I could to not look like I was a blubbering fool. Opting for the Rodin "thinking" pose, I pinched the bridge of my nose and managed to disperse any moisture that had begun to collect in and around my eyes.

That little girl is really getting the best of me.