Mock Draft - Countries - First Round

This draft, perhaps the grandest of draft concepts, is for the one thing that no-one is making any more of… land. In particular, countries.

In this draft, we will be selecting countries over which you will exert absolute, unfettered rule to be administered in any manner you wish. You will be "graded" according to the following criteria in this order: 1) Creativity and wit exhibited in explaining choice 2) Merits of actual choice 3) Ability to maintain your three country empire after the countries are selected.As a corollary to rule three, let it be known that we are all in the same world, so, you have to account for each other's presence. The order of the draft was randomized this morning and is as follows: 1) TC 2) JD 3) TK 4) JS

Three rounds, snaking pattern. Oh yeah… the United States is not eligible for the draft, however, you must account for the presence of the U.S. in the world.

TC First Pick: Australia

With my first pick, I feel it is important to focus on the economics to support my empire. As such, I select Australia with my first pick. Australia comprises the mainland of the world's smallest continent, the major island of Tasmania and a number of other islands in the Southern, Indian, and Pacific Oceans. It is the world's second largest producer of diamonds (by carat) and the third largest producer of gold. In addition, tourism plays a large role in the country's economy.

JD First Pick: China

With the US out of the picture, I’m going to take the next closest thing to a superpower in this day and age, China. With this one pick I give myself: a steamrolling economy, billions of soldiers…er…I mean “citizens” and ample land on which to build cities in my name (D***** City, D*****onia, D***attle, San D***frisco). Now, obviously, I’m going to run into some problems due to the size of the population, but, still, the first thing I will do is get rid of the restrictions on the number of children a family can have. We will sort out any population problems as they arise (are you listening neighbors?). Last but not least, I must mention my burgeoning space program; we’ll be carving Mao’s face into the moon within the decade.

JS: Truly the Albert Pujols/Jose Reyes of the draft, surprised it fell to number two. Shocked that you would not be replacing Mao's mug with your own though. I know I would be. However, the picture would not just be my face, it would be all of me... as painted by Boris Vallejo.

JD: I agree. I love the Aussies, but I didn’t think China would fall to me at number two. I figure I’ll keep Mao around as an icon that I can point to anytime the people start getting restless. Then I can say, “Hey, is this how MAO would have reacted? I didn’t think so. Now, get back to work on my palace!”). Plus, I want to call myself Chairman D*****.

JS: Commie. Looks like the legions of Sparta Novo might have chilly relations with You.

JD: Choose wisely, my friend. Besides, we’ll be even less Communist in D*****ia than China is today. Its all about appearances.

JS: I see. Perhaps I will not be requiring water and earth from you after all.

First TK Pick: Germany

I am selecting Germany.

1) They are a highly educated society with a rich engineering and scientific history. They have some small pockets of socialists that will need to be stamped out and some collective guilt that needs to be worked through but overall they are a people that when properly led can be very productive.

2) Beer and Sausage. Really, do not underestimate that.

3) Military might. The Germans are soldiers. They are the type of soldiers that have shown brilliance in battle from both the Generals to the enlisted men. You can defend the borders and expand when needed, That's right, I am looking at you Austria, Poland, Czech and Slovakia, the Fatherland is calling. I can resist any move by that hothead leading Sparta Novo and I have the diplomatic skill to broker an alliance with my Asian friends under Chairman D******. Watch out if JS takes Russia.

4) Football. No I mean it, American Football, the Germans are the only country in Europe to take to the NFL, these people are intelligent I tell you.

5) The Eagles Nest. http://www.eagles-nest.de/en/kehlsteinhaus.php?navid=1 Are you kidding me? Have you seen this place? Man it is worth taking this Country just for the Bavarian Retreat.

6) Octoberfest. See #2

7) I think I can learn German, really, it is not that far from English.

8) I would be a Kaiser, Kaiser K*****.

9) They hate the French.

10) Finally, Germany is Europe, you can take your France and Russia, but you will know the only reason to have selected them is because you want Germany.

JS First Pick: Russia

With my first pick to live under the noble crimson Lambda of Sparta Novo, I am taking Russia.

1) Historically, attacking Rus is suicide. Any attack on my soil will be dealt with by the three old and reliable Generals of all Russian battles: General Winter, General Snow and General Spring thaw. The Russian people fight like rabid put bulls on steroids and Viagra in the winter and Mother Rus herself swallows tracked vehicles whole in the spring. A pick for Russia is a pick for absolute security.

2) Russia is the second largest oil-producing nation in the world. That means something (I am looking at YOU, my long-time and honored ally D*****ia, with your burgeoning, yet oil-dependant, economy.)

3) Vodka and Pierogies. An important part of ANY nutritious breakfast.

4) St. Johannesburg. (nee St. Petersburg) the Versailles of the East, it is truly a splendor.

5) Variety. I have skiing in the North, beaches in the South, lush fields in the West and Gulags (COUGH) "scenic redevelopment communities" in the East.

6) Hot women. Some of the hottest in the world. Who can discount this factor?

7) Pan-Slavonic unity. Rodina Mat' Zovyot!!! my Czech, Slovak, Bulgarian, Ukrainian, Kazak, Moldovan, Belarusian, Polish and Romanian brothers and sisters.

8) Lastly, the Russian people have historically demonstrated a "cult of personality" toward their leaders which is unfettered. People starving in the Gulag would cry to Stalin... wishing that he only knew what was being done in his name. They are cultural monarchists, which suits me fine.