Happy Birthday Rose McGowan

Can't begin to tell the ways in which this woman is hot.

Don't get me wrong. I am not one of the weirdos who make "unofficial" websites dedicated to celebrities. That is just, well, weird.

However, i'll be damned if this woman doesn't make me feel all tingly in my nether region.

Oh, and if my wife is reading this, it is not really me (i.e. John) typing this, I am a hacker pretending to be John who likes to call you "my wife".

Reason One: Her parents were members of the Children of God and her father ran the Italian chapter of the group. At the age of fifteen, she had the good sense to officially emancipate herself from her parents.

In other words, she has daddy issues. Girls with daddy issues are crazy in the sack.

Reason Two: During an interview, she admitted to the following: "Well, I was out at a restaurant with a guy and his parents in Ohio, and this meathead, the only other customer there, was yelling nasty stuff at us. After dinner, we figured out which car was his and I smashed one of its windows with a rock. Then I called the police, gave them his coordinates, and told them he was extremely drunk and unwilling to relinquish his keys."

In other words, this girl will break a dude's car window with a rock and send him to jail because he said something untoward to you. She demonstrates the type of vicious loyalty that only true men, like myself, can really appreciate.

Reason Three: Quote: "I was up watching Meet Joe Black at four AM. I was hoping Brad Pitt would die, and he was still alive at seven forty in the morning! I actually felt sorry for once, for critics. "

'nuff said.

Reasons Four and Five: Favorite Movie? Sixteen Candles. Favorite Authors? Philip K. Dick and Edgar Allen Poe.

You know what? It is a little creepy how much information there is about movie stars on the web.

With that, I guess I will stop.