24 thread

Graem Bauer - Schemer or rheemer?

"Retro"

Apparently, I am now, "retro."

Let me explain.

By way of background, I have played ice hockey for a very, very long time. Consequently, I have ice skated for a very, very long time. I am not going to get into my pedigree here, because this post is not about my skating skills.

I have been happy as a lark ever since Elizabeth saw her cousin play hockey and found out that the goalie was a girl, and her name was Elizabeth. Now, every time she sees a hockey game she asks: "Where the goalie?" Is that E-wizabef?"

So, I took my daughter ice skating this weekend. I have been looking forward to this moment for a very long time due to a grossly under researched phenomenon referred to as the "law of diminishing aspirations in professional sports." This law is most easily expressed by way of example- my dreams regarding professional sports have gone from "I can play" to "I can coach" to "I can have my kids become pros." Yes, that is the way it goes down for corporate Americans and that is they way it went with me (although, I know I can coach, I just can't give up the job in order to do it).

OK, so, there I am at the local ice rink with my two-year-old daughter. The smell of the freon coolant, the echoes of sticks hitting the ice, a zamboni motor humming in the background. Bliss, pure bliss. A lifetime of youth and vitality percolates from deep within the recesses of my unconscious mind and cascades over my frontal lobe like a blizzard in July. For the first time in a long time, I no longer feel like a corporate suit, I feel like the self that I know that I really am.

Almost inebriated with giddiness, I went to get my trusted blades sharpened. I put my battle-hardened companions on the counter and the "dude" behind the counter looks at them and says: "wow, man, those skates are really retro!"

In a single moment, I came crashing down to Earth. I could have commented that I thought "today's" skates are nothing more than an attempt to "flash" up one's footwear like those tacky NBA sneakers, but, I felt too deflated. My only comment was: "Those skates and I have been through alot together." Not even realizing I was quoting Luke Skywalker, and further dating myself, I turned away and felt like a man in his (early!) thirties again.

Then, I saw this:

...and I felt like I was pretty cool again.

Am I my brother's keeper?

**SPOILER ALERT (highlight the following empty space to read)**

So, Graham is Jack Bauer's brother.

Personally, I think this development is very cheesy. I have referred to this tendency of having all the main characters in an ongoing somehow related to each other as the "Star Wars Syndrome."

It started with "No, I am your father." Without doubt, these five words made a generation collectively gasp. However, with each iteration, it loses its power. You see, as the Star Wars Syndrome spins into absurdity, Boba Fett is actually the son of the guy used to create every single Clonetrooper in the Empire who, by the way, also hired an assassin to kill the woman who would become Darth Vader's "wife" and mother to Luke and Leia. Moreover, Obi-wan was trained by Qui-gon who was trained by the evil Count Dooku who, in turn was trained by Yoda who, in turn, trains Luke. The problem with these type of circular relationships between main characters is that it defies credibility. The world has a lot of people in it. All the cool and adventurous things in the world do not happen to one family. I suppose it comes from the Greeks, you know, Oedipus starting off a series of stories concerning his cursed offspring. However, it is getting kind of, well, old. Listen screenwriters, I know it is tempting to go for the "shock" moment when two, seemingly opposed, characters share a familial bond. However, when we see it over and over and over, it loses its shock value.

With respect to the episode, this episode had to be a "calm down" episode due to the fact that a nuke just got detonated in LA (the whole plot of season two). So I did not think this episode was going to have a bunch of action. While I was not disappointed in the whole, the "brother" thing is cheap.

Exhibit "A", in support of my premise:

Dark Helmet: Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.

Lone Starr: What?

Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former room-mate.

Lone Starr: What's that make us?

Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing.

That was in 1987. If it was being mocked in 1987, it is time to stop using the technique.

Predictions:

The blond kid is really Jack's

Comments:

1) Graham's wife is really hot.

2) D.B. Woodside is no Gregory Itzin.

3) Graham was very smooth last season, now he's like a babbling dork.

Funny Moment:

"You may think of me as your enemy, but today I assure you I am not"

"Pffff, Blow me."

(Well, thats what I heard anyway.)

P.S. To "make the circle complete," with my circuitous cross references, today is Randolph Scott's birthday. *singing with hand on heart* Ran-dolph Scooooott!

Stupid

stupid

I love this:

Rabiah Ahmed, a spokeswoman for the Washington-based Council on American-Islamic Relations. She said Thursday she was distressed by this season's premiere. "After watching that show, I was afraid to go to the grocery store because I wasn't sure the person next to me would be able to differentiate between fiction and reality."

Ms. Ahmed, respectfully, that is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. I mean, ahhh forget it. I just can't find the words to respond to this rationally.

Jack is Back...

... and he is apparently very hungry.

I have to say, I was expecting the bite to the neck. It was the only thing he could do. What I was not expecting is the camera to stay on the scene long enough to get the spit out of the chunk of flesh. That made me go "OHHH!" out loud.

Ted beat me to the punch on the input. So, I will simply build on what he, and Erica, said.

Mysteries that will be revealed?

1) What did Chinese get for releasing Jack? I say Missile Technology.

I think it can be almost anything. My bet is that the Chinese will not be in the picture anymore though.

2) Who is the CTU nemesis to Jack? Nadia? Milo? English Guy? I say Nadia turns into more of a thorn then anyone.

I know it is practically mandatory for someone in CTU to be "bad", but, I am not sure they are going that route this season. I think the bad guy will be Thomas Lennox, at least for a while. I am not sure he will be the bad guy all season. It is too early to tip the hand on the main foil. Moreover, I kind of like him. Despite his somewhat questionable methods, I really think he has the best interest of the country at heart and, more importantly, I loved the way he dismissed Sandra Palmer (my most annoying character) on the phone when he said this would make the subject of a great law review article. In other worlds: "you are an idealistic academic living in fantasy land and I am dealing with a life-and-death scenario. Now, please, shut up." I loved it.

3) Is the Presidents sister married to a terrorist? I say no, but it is early.

Regarding this whole Antigone subplot with Sandra Palmer, I find her to be completely annoying and wholly wrong. Moreover, I found her actions to be completely over-the-line and felt that her brother's slight-of-hand dismissal of her actions to be reprehensible. Simply put, if she was such a "law and order" person, she would have complied with the subpoena, filed a motion with the court, and obtained a protective order. Her actions SMACKED of "I am the President's sister and I can do what I want."

Regarding the husband, I say he was definitely not a terrorist going into detention. I think his plot line will play out like this: He gets valuable information-he is wrongfully interrogated by the staff-he contemplates not giving the information because he is so mad-in the end, he divulges the information because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how he was treated and that information saves the day.

However, Erica raises a good point. Could Sandra be the person with something to hide? I did not think of that and I think that would be an awesome plot twist.

4) What is in the package? My guess is a detonator device.

no comment.

5) And the big one, can Assad be trusted? I say in the end yes.

no comment.

Kudos

1) Nice beat down scene of Kumar in the house. The kick into the coffee table, cliché but effective.

I liked it too. I told MB this morning that Kumar was a terrorist and she laughed. I have to say, I kept expecting Kumar to start cracking up in a stoner voice and say: "haaaa!!! psyche! Lets get baked!"

2) Good missile attack on the house in Inglewood. Interesting no mention of collateral casualties. I also think that if a man tells you a house is going to be destroyed by missile securing the files on the CPU is useless.

You would be surprised how much stuff they retrieve from a blown up hard drive. Moreover, they had no idea what kind of munition was going to be used, so, I think it was a prudent decision.

3) Audrey, my daughter, well done.

Agreed.

4) Everyone once again realizing Jack is always right.

You would think that they would just know that already!

5) The fact that cities without a Jack Bauer are just screwed.

Agreed. Thankfully, Newark has a John Shotter, so, this city is safe.


Missed the mark.

1) The subway scene, too predictable, plus I cannot believe LA has guys checking tickets on the subway, but what do I know.

I did not mind that. In fact, I liked the little touch concerning the subway posters. If you look, they were all "report suspicious behavior" posters. I thought that was well done.

2) Chloe getting Nadia to break protocol and explain everything we needed to know about why Jack was back. Why couldn't they just have us in the meeting? Can't Chloe ever follow protocol?

When that whole thing started to unfold, I rolled my eyes. I would have been pissed if Chloe and her little friend managed to outwit the entire nation there. I was glad it backfired because it would have been TOTALLY lame if it did not.

3) Milo, that actor is like Rudy last year, out of place on 24. He screams slacker.

Not sure what I think about him yet. The shaved head, and the terrorist's shaved head, have me a little on guard (not much to go on, I know).


4) Yes, they have not explained Wayne as president yet, I do like the fact that this country elected a black president in David Palmer, he serves one term, and then four years later elects the second black President, his younger brother. The Palmers are not the black Kennedys.

Apparently, they are. I don't like him as President. Also, it seems they went with the "not-sure-of-himself" President route again. Not sure anyone can be as good as Charles Logan in that role. Moreover, as stated above, I really was shocked how he set his sister free. Not only does it nullify the whole Antigone plotline they could have developed, but, it smacked of corruption.

5) Once again, the easiest perimeter to breach is a CTU perimeter.

Again, I always think of General Stilwell in the movie 1941 when he asks a soldier incredulously: "You can hold one block can't you?"

All in all, great season opener.

What got me the most was how real it felt. The Cetnox gas thing always had a bit of the old 1970s James Bond (i.e. corny) feel to it. This felt real and felt dangerously close to reality. I like this a lot. However, I just KNOW that the BTG will be implicated in this and, officially, feel this is lame.

Can't people hate America and our way of life without rich white people being the real villains pulling the strings?

Mr. President?

In a trailer, I saw Wayne Palmer sitting in the oval office being addressed as Mr. President. Not sure I like that. Too hokey.

Moreover, I am not sure enough time has passed in between last season and this season to allow for him to 1) raise the funds to run, 2) conduct a campaign, 3) actually run for offfice and 4) be a sitting President. Unless, of course, they are going to to a "three years later" thing right from the beginning. If they do that, well, they are at the rope's end. By way of example, when the Tom Clancy books made Jack Ryan President, the stories took on a more fictional feel to them and lost the "this really happened" feeling Hunt for Red October had. Now, I know that we never had a President David Palmer so 24 was always fictional. However, I think that when you take a show which has, as its theme, a "live ation" component as its hook, you can't come back with a "three years later" prologue when three years have not passed for us.

Rosie v. Donald

For anyone following this teen-age drama, I present to you the following:

That is all.

The following blog will see increased traffic between January 14, 2007 and May 21, 2007...boop beep boop beep...

The new season of 24 begins on January 14, 2007.

Rather than tie up our work e-mails, Ted has suggested that we have our 24 discussion thread here.

I think this is a very good idea and welcome everyone to visit my site to conduct our weekly 24 discussion.

If you have any questions as to how to operate the site, please reach out to me.